The closure of a friendship may be the result of a misunderstanding or a lack of effort in contributing to the relationship, or even a lack of effort to simply keep in touch. Anyhow, losing a person who once held a place in our heart is never easy. What is even harder is to see the big picture and to realize that we have actually gained something from the loss.
The article below talks about what may be learned from friendships that come to an end.
Friends Forever?
By GWEN MORRISON
You know that feeling - that new friendship. You meet someone and you instantly know that you click. It just feels right. It's almost a romantic feeling, finding that stranger who turns out to be so in sync with you. You laugh about the same things, gripe about the same things and find yourselves finishing each other's sentences. It's heaven.
You and your new friend, the soul mate you have found at the laundry, share everything in those first few months of newness. You tell her about the time you tripped and fell in front of the entire school, she tells you about how she chipped her tooth on the Ferris wheel, you tell her how you snuck out of the house to meet a boy when you were 15, she tells you how she dated a boy that her mother hated, and so on.
The friendship is easy, comfortable and liberating. It isn't long before you tell your new friend your darkest secrets, your most vulnerable moments. Your heart empties into her lap and it feels so good.
But, what happens when the friendship starts to unravel? Not that it is ultimately destined to unravel, but what if it does? Is it wise to pour out your soul so quickly to this once stranger? Do we open up our hearts only to have them bruised at a later date when we discover that the friend-of-our-dreams turns out to be not so?
I have been the recipient of both long-lasting friendships and friendships-of-the day. I have opened up to every one of them in the same way, without caution. Sure, there were times I regretted saying this or that (when it came back to haunt me), but ultimately I have found that with each new friend that comes and goes from my life, I have learned something. I have always grown from the relationship - even those that ended badly.
Friends are treasures. Sometimes they are in the form of diamonds, strong and brilliant. Other times they are in the form of fools gold, weak and dull. With each relationship, there is something to be gained. Diamonds last forever and fools gold is fun to show off to others, but you know in your heart it isn't real.
So, what have I learned from all my friends over the years? From the friends that came into my life and left, I have learned patience, forgiveness and I learned that people change, and change is good. From those friends who I still hold dear to my heart, I have learned how to compromise, be a better listener, that everyone has faults and that I can be loved even when I mess up.
Friends will come and friends will go. With each new friendship there are diamonds to be found. Some will shine through brilliantly, while others will dim as time goes on. Take stock in the lessons learned from a failed friendship. Each experience brought something into your life. It may take time to discover what it is, but it's there. The footprints left after a failed friendship are often masked by the emotions you are feeling about the loss.
There are no bad friends, just missed opportunities for discovering what you may have learned from the relationship. Even if the only thing you learned was that you desired more from a friend - that's something.
We all desire true friendship - and it is possible. Sometimes we have to reflect on how we are doing as a friend. Are we being the best friends we can be? Or are we caught up in the expectations of the people we bring into our lives?
Be a good friend - make a good friend.
By Gwen Morrison
Source: http://www.entertainmates.com/experts/artfriendsfor.asp
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